Living in a time of global pandemic, I find myself especially reflective. Pulled from my daily routine, I have become exceedingly aware of the influence that society has had on all aspects of my life; I have internalized a system of norms without even knowing it. With this realization, I have experienced a newfound sense of clarity; I feel extremely grateful for the everyday activities that I am able to participate in. Whether that be having a meal out with a friend, going to the market, walking down a crowded street or attending a yoga class, the COVID-19 crisis has given me a new perspective on my life; the activities I engage in everyday are a privilege, not a right. As humans, we see life as this never-ending gift due to our deep repression of death in society; we believe we are immortal. This mindset causes individuals to take for granted all aspects of life, never allowing the space to take a step back and appreciate the moment for what it is, fleeting. COVID-19 has now given us the space to do so.
In my time at home, I have made several transitions. After being away at college for a little under two years now, I have been forced to adjust to moving back home. This adjustment has been far from easy. Considering my parents still view me as their little baby, it is hard for them to comprehend the immense individualism I have developed while away. My freedom now stripped, I feel as though I have taken a step backwards by being here. Regardless of how much I enjoy my time with them, temporary visits versus an extended period of living are two vastly different concepts.
As for social distancing, I have found this requirement rather adverse to maintain and adjust to. My favorite aspect of returning home is reuniting with my best friends from my childhood. Knowing that I am in the same place as them yet unable to hug, catch up and spend time is torturous. In regard to the alone time that attaches to social distancing, I have not felt any difficulty here. Throughout high school and into college, solitude has been something I’ve made strenuous efforts to work on. The self reflection, growth, and personal discovery I’ve experienced through solitude has been an exceedingly gratifying feeling of individual progression. Although more alone time than I’d prefer, I have not struggled a great deal with this aspect.
The one major frustration I’ve felt during this time of confusion, is with my fellow millennials. The lack of seriousness taken by both my peers and friends is disappointing. The severity of the virus is now apparent, yet these individuals continue to gather in groups risking the infection of individuals more susceptible and vulnerable to the virus. Although this lockdown may be needed in American society as a form of self reflection and containment, I would prefer to return to my everyday life in a rather efficient manner. The selfishness of my fellow millennials is only perpetuating this state of emergency.
As for the future, I am worried about the lack of knowledge scientists have yet to discover regarding the COVID-19 virus. I wonder how long this state of panic, lockdown and social distancing will last. I am worried about my grandfather, as he is my last grandparent alive; I have a tremendously close relationship with him. Overall, I really miss the everyday fortunes I am used to.
Composing The Self 
Hey Hannah, I really appreciate how raw + vulnerable you were with this post. I agree, it is hard taking this so serious and seeing others continuing to go out ignorantly believing that they are unreachable, which only further affects how long social distancing may last. It is a great time to reflect and take advantage of the time we have been given to express gratitude for what we view as our normal life. Wishing you all the luck!
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